This week I will celebrate the 2nd anniversary of my retirement. Well, almost retirement I suppose. I’ve done a few small jobs to keep my hand in and, of course, the writing. But there is an interesting thing happening with me in terms of the work vs retirement mindset. I’m really beginning to hate, with a passion, deadlines – even ones I’ve set for myself.
I’ve always been one to be early or on time for whatever I’m doing; appointments, work deadlines, submission deadlines and so on. Always. Yet over the last few months I’ve found myself turning away from deadlines. I’m beginning to feel they are an infringement of my newly found freedom. I don’t set alarm clocks and make all necessary appointments (doctor, dentist, coffee with friends) for a decent hour i.e. 10am or later.
So.Am I getting lazy? Becoming an old fart? Or is it just that I’ve finally settled into retirement and there is an adjustment I still have to make? For example, I still want to finish my book, send it in to a few publishers in case it’s any good, and see what happens. I still need to finish short stories for various anthologies I’ve set myself a goal to submit to. And yet, I’m avoiding doing anything to achieve these self-identified tasks.
I think a lot about doing all this stuff I’ve set for myself. But hey, were did my motivation go? Come BAAAACK!
Yes, I’ve visited my family often, and managed to get every virus the grandkids have picked up. And Yes, hubby and I have done some travelling. But I’ve had days where I’ve sat and knitted or cross-stitched rather than sit at the computer.
I think it’s a reaction to over 40 years of the “MUSTS”; must get a better job, must get a promotion, must to well and prove myself, must get another degree, must get another qualification, must… must… must….
Now it’s all about my own wants, and I have got a definite aversion to the ‘must do [whatever]’.
Is it freedom? Is it just a short term thing and I will get my motivation back? Is it ‘old fart’ syndrome? Who knows, but I wish it would stop.
Yep, I hear you. Only I can make it stop. You’re absolutely right. But send me some good vibes so my mojo returns.